First Month Back in My Surry Hills Cafe: Have I Made a Huge Mistake?

A month ago, I stepped back into the day-to-day operations of Dad and the Frog Cafe.

In my last blog post, I wrote about stepping away from the business to help raise my newborn son. I was able to do that because we had built the systems, processes and team structure that allowed the cafe to operate without me being there every day.

Now my son is in daycare, I have restructured the cafe and returned to the floor. I am making coffee, clearing tables, speaking with regulars and leading my team in person again.

According to plenty of online business gurus, this is exactly what an owner should not do.

They tell you to get out of your business and get out of its way. Build the systems. Replace yourself. Step back. Scale.

They are partly right.

If your goal is to grow quickly, open multiple venues or oversee a large company, you cannot see the whole picture while your nose is brushing against the wall. An owner who is permanently buried in daily tasks will struggle to make clear decisions about strategy, people and growth.

But what if scaling fast is not the main goal?

What Do You Actually Want Your Business to Become?

Before someone starts a business, there is a more important question than, “How big can this become?”

The question is, “What do I want the end to look like?”

Assuming most people go into business to make money, help people or create a better life, the right answer will be different for everyone.

One owner may want to build a hospitality group with venues across the country, supported by a small office of high-performing people. Another may want one highly profitable mum-and-pop shop, work in it part-time and have the freedom to step away for a four-week family holiday.

Neither ambition is automatically better. The mistake is blindly following someone else’s definition of success.

For me, the answer comes down to three things: time, purpose and money.

Time: The Freedom to Choose

I am continually designing a business that gives me greater control over my time.

That does not mean I want to sit in paradise 365 days a year. Honestly, the idea would drive me insane. I like meaningful work. I like pressure, improvement and solving difficult problems.

What I value is choice.

The freedom to take a day away from work to watch my daughter compete at her regional athletics carnival. The freedom to drive someone I love to hospital. The freedom to be present when my family needs me, without the entire business falling apart because I am not there.

That freedom is one of the most valuable assets a business can create.

My goal was never simply to escape the cafe. It was to make sure the cafe did not own every hour of my life.

Purpose: Putting Myself First So I Can Give More

The second part is purpose, or my “why”, as every recruitment officer likes to ask in an interview.

At the top of my list is me.

That may sound selfish, but I believe it is responsible. When I prioritise my physical, mental and spiritual health, education, growth and meaningful work, I have more to give to everything downstream from me.

My family gets a better husband and father. My team gets a clearer, more capable leader. My business receives better decisions. My community gets someone who has the energy to listen, contribute and help.

You cannot consistently pour your best into other people from an empty cup.

Returning to Dad and the Frog has brought me closer to the parts of hospitality that give my work meaning. I can support a team member in real time, welcome a familiar face, learn a new customer’s name and hear directly what people value about their local Surry Hills cafe.

Those conversations are not distractions from the business. They are part of the reason the business exists.

Money: A Tool That Amplifies Intent

Finally, there is money.

Yes, I want the business to make money. Profit is not something an owner should apologise for. A cafe that is not financially healthy cannot reliably support its employees, improve its products or serve its community for long.

Money is an incredible tool. It amplifies a person’s intent. It can create choices, buy back time and provide the resources needed to fulfil a larger purpose.

But more revenue, more venues and more employees do not automatically create a better life. Growth is only useful when it moves you towards the life and business you actually want.

For me, success means building a profitable cafe that serves excellent food and coffee, supports a strong team and gives me the freedom to decide where my time creates the most value.

Right now, some of that value is created on the cafe floor.

Working in the Business Without Becoming Trapped by It

Some people may ask, “Daniel, how can you run a business if you are clearing tables and making coffee?”

My response is simple: if your cafe systems are set up properly, working in the business does not stop you from working on it.

The key difference is choice.

I am not back because the cafe collapses without me. I am back because I have decided that my presence can add value. The systems still manage the repeatable work. The team still has clear responsibilities. The numbers still need to be reviewed. I can move between serving customers and making higher-level decisions without every issue depending on me.

Being hands-on also gives me information that no report can fully capture. I can see where service slows down, where communication breaks, how a dish lands on the table and what our customers actually notice. I can feel the pace of a busy breakfast in Surry Hills, listen to feedback during weekend brunch and see what our lunch customers need when they are short on time.

That helps me lead with context rather than assumptions.

There is a real danger in becoming trapped inside your own business. There is also a danger in distancing yourself from it simply because someone online said that every successful owner must disappear from daily operations.

The strongest position is having a business that can operate without you, while still benefiting when you choose to be there.

Why Open a Cafe in the First Place?

Most people who dream of opening a cafe do not fantasise about sitting in an office looking at spreadsheets all day.

They imagine making great coffee, getting to know their regulars, creating food people want to return for and building a team they are proud to lead. They imagine becoming part of a neighbourhood.

If a cafe is built poorly, that dream can quickly turn into a downward spiral of long hours, shrinking margins and constant stress. Hospitality is unforgiving when the numbers, systems or standards are ignored.

But when a cafe is built properly, the original dream does not have to be naive.

You can work in the business because you want to, not because you have no other option. You can enjoy the energy of serving breakfast, brunch and lunch in Surry Hills while still protecting time for strategy, family and your own health. You can lead your people hands-on, make money and retain the freedom to step away when life requires it.

That is the business I am trying to build.

So, Have I Made a Huge Mistake?

Ask me again in 12 months, but after my first month back, I do not believe I have.

The bigger mistake would have been building my life around another person’s definition of success.

Returning to Dad and the Frog Cafe has allowed me to reconnect with our Surry Hills community, lead my team more closely and rediscover the purpose behind the work. It has reminded me that freedom does not always mean being absent.

Sometimes freedom means having the choice to return.

If you are stopping by for coffee in Surry Hills, a relaxed weekend brunch or lunch during the week, come and say hello. There is a good chance you will find me behind the coffee machine, on the floor or clearing the table next to you.

And, for now, that is exactly where I want to be.

Daniel
Owner, Dad and the Frog Cafe